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"7aviour."

Big White Duel

I was shown a similar scene that I saw in the drama.

While I was battling with my own emotions ahead of my sight, I was thankful I met a great doctor and his team.

He was precise and clear with my dad’s condition and never made me feel any worst.

His words of assurance put me ahead of what to least expect.


I was really worried when I never once saw my dad in such a weak state.

I can only pray and hold on to him dearly.

His cringing expression and him telling me he was really in a lot of pain, challenged my own positivity.

He was shaking from the cold and his body was weak from all the throwing up.

I reached out to the doctor and watched him studied my father’s vital.

I was asked to wait outside when I realised my dad starting to lose some conscious.

I prayed hard.


Another hour of wait.

“Dehydration…”

Too much water out of my dad’s skinny frame.

I asked to see my dad and he gladly showed me in.


Conscious but body too weak, he pointed to me he was having muscles cramp from his legs.

I asked the male nurse right beside me what to do as I massaged my dad’s leg.

Surprised, when he told me that’s “there’s nothing I can do”, while he still stepped forward and help me adjust my dad’s blanket.

I tried not to get personal or emotional.

You know, how sensitive one can get especially in the verge of breaking down.

But I truly understand my level of urgency to his level of professionalism.


I was asked to leave again as my dad throw up again.

Concerned with his status, the doctor assured me fairly.

Another hour of wait.


Same procedure with the same doctor updating me of his status,

Me checking in on my dad, and my brother ‘cyber staying’ by my side.

Another hour of wait.


Another hour of wait.

By wee hours in the morning, its was only me in the icy cold room.

That’s not helping if self pity sets in.

Wait.


Mutual respect is very important and the fact we do not take it out of to the medical team despite our own inner struggles.

I was really learning a lot from this doctor.

Every time I waited anxiously for him to come into the room from that beige tightly locked door, every time he was in a very calm state of being.

Even though he could be ‘fighting’ a war inside with my dad, he never once showed that side to me.

That was very high level of professionalism and I am inspired to be like that.

Thankfully he can be warded in the morning.


"You are here? I told them you went for breakfast..." that same male nurse in his plain clothes, ready to end his shift...

"Where will I have the mood to eat...when my dad is in that condition..."

I didn't get mad at him, I just didn't quite get him.

But I understand, he expressed his concern differently, so I thanked him after he went back to check on my dad for me.

If we think clear ahead at someone's reaction to our own assumptions, we will understand and not get emotional easily.

When my mom and my sis arrived, we went for breakfast as we are not allowed into the "ward" before noon.

Yes, we all need the strength too.


The next time I saw my dad, was him having so many tubes around him and machines beeping in unison.

"Jia you dad, stay strong ya~ it's just your body. Keep going..."

We are not allowed to stay longer than mins so that we don't be disturbing the doctors & nurses at their work.

The professionals here gave off different vibes.

All hold high regard to their job and the instructions they given to us, very clear and sternly but filled with genuine care.

Wait patiently.


It's important to make my dad understand what's he was going through because we knew he was scare too.

He pointed to all the tubes at one time and we assured him, he needed that support but it will be removed once he rested enough.

Like how the doctor gave me confident, I injected that to my dad.


By night time, he was conscious and my sister cutely gave him a pen and paper, for him to express himself instead of writing in the air.

"Thank you to all the goddess and celestial beings; guan yin ma, jigong, sun wu kong... .... ..." (cheeky but grateful.)

We always believe we needed "Second helping" to our daily life... like many in the waiting room were all talking about "praying to tai sui"... "drawing strength from mother mary..." and ...


It's a long process but stay with your faith.

Thank you for all your genuine concern as I received some of your messages dearly.

Thank you for your understanding when I had to cancel our appointment so last min. Thank You! Thank You!

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” — Audrey Hepburn

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