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Repeat mode.

Every night, we will go through the same ritual and dilemma of someone "needing to tell ah gong it's okay to go."

It broke my heart all the time.

I could only stared in blankness...

"Shu shu, I really can't bear..."

They asked about ah gong's regret again.

My aunt said he told her about wanting to see the grandchildren getting married.

My ah gong suddenly "woke up" in the middle of that "ritual".

I screamed in excitement inside!

He noted how everyone were present and he asked for the time.

Maybe earlier he was drinking tea with "Yue Lao".

The doctor came in time.

I listened carefully beside my uncle on their "next move".

He said my ah gong is in a "comfortable" state, not breathing too hard or gasping in pain.

Just that they will have to increase his heart rate.

Until they exhausted all means and until ah gong bid bye.


I pat my uncle, "he can do this".

I hope he changed his mind about "removing" ah gong's tubes so as to "end his suffering"...

We are not "ah gong" himself,

what if it's just a procedure to get through and we assumed otherwise?

I wiped my tears with assurance.

Before leaving the hospital,

My aunts asked me to give my ah gong a loud forehead kiss and so I did.

he looked at me with his eyes wide open as if in shock,

and asked for his towel to wipe away my saliva naughtily.

His conscious state gave all of us huge confidence boost!


“The gray area, the place between black and white –

that’s the place where life happens.”

— Justin Timberlake

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