My father’s turning into a "momentary monk" soon.
Not exactly depressed, but heavily dejected with his own kind of self-entertainment.
We just sat quietly listening to his “enlightening woes”, slightly bored with negativity.
It’s normal for a person to do more deep reflection about life,
especially when he has to cope with his emotional needs.
We got slightly concern when he shared about “different ghosts” visiting him,
"Perhaps, they are just “listening in to your chants”,
besides this is a hospital, naturally will have more spirits passing by..."
We can’t help laughing with his “drama-mama” act sometimes.
The other day,
me and my sister were at our usual vegetarian place, an old lady asked if she can speaks wisdom to us.
Auntie asked： “小妹啊， 妳知道什麼是天道嗎？就是你要下地狱才可以上天堂。”
We shook our heads, but she still want to "度" us.
We shook our head again, but she still want to talk “度” us.
We shook our head again and again, but she still want to talk “度” us.
We had no choice but had to leave quickly after my last drop of 'kopi-o'.
It’s not that I don’t believe the path, I don’t trust the words of another mere human.
Because of “how different I was born” since young, I am no stranger to the buddhism circle.
My parents relied on the “celestial's decision” upon my upbringing and growth,
so I must always watch my thoughts....
I abided to the rules blindly.
Until one fine day,
I realised “if sun wu kong did not even lift his rod to fight the spider witches, how can he save his shifu leh?”
“Must fight one.” ☝️(fight hard especially when bullied thrice.)
I wanted to commit myself to ordain nunnery a few years back.
It got my family so upset and worried about me.
I bought a nun costume back then and like how clean and pure I can vibe,
but my brother threw it away after he saw that.
They thought I was just crazy after a bad break up, but soon realised how serious I actually was.
They hope I can give more chances to romance & love as they are afraid I may grow old lonely.
"I can always be car park auntie, parking fine auntie, cleaner auntie... or a volunteer at a temple what..."
(life path and choices)
"Nah, don't worry, when I meet the right one, I will let love grows."
"even the person who looks like he has it all is living a hell of his own." we all face challenges that others can't imagine. Remember, appearance aren't everything- Haemim Sunim